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Tuesday, April 16, 2013


This is a guest post from Chris Vonada. Chris is an aspiring author and professional geologist, who enjoys reading, running, anything outdoors, ravel, family, friends, music and life! He writes about his passions at I'm Just Thinkin' . His latest book Believe...and You Say? is available at

"Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships." Stephen Covey

If I can't trust you and you don't trust me our relationship is pre-determined to be pretty shallow.

I hope to share with you today why and how you should be very interested in building trust in your most treasured relationships...

Trust... what exactly is it?

In relationships, trust is the confidence that someone else is going to behave in a way or manner that we anticipate, i.e., that they're going to do what we expect them to do. Repetitive actions that are trustworthy within a relationship result in a sense of security. This can work in reverse, too, when reinforced behaviors or reaffirming actions occur in an opposite direction.

Trust is known to increase the quality of life and enhances one's interpersonal relationships. Being in positive, healthy relationships where there is trust builds our "subjective well-being", or life satisfaction, optimism and happiness within an individual. Happy people are skilled at building and nurturing these good relationships.

When a relationship is built on trust, it's built on knowing that we have the other person's best interests in mind. That's it, I've got your back. We can depend on them for all of the other building blocks, or essential elements that we need to share a healthy relationship. Trust works to form an enduring bond between two people. Deep, meaningful love and intimacy are not likely to happen in the absence of trust in a relationship.

We can build trust in a relationship by:

- Recognizing that trust takes energy, time and commitment. You have to be attentive to another person's needs, at times putting their needs above your own selfish desires.

- Identifying a weakness that the other person struggles with, and then strive to help them with it, never exploiting it.

- Being willing to be vulnerable. Building true trust requires that we are vulnerable to the point that we learn through experience that we can rely on someone else. It's not all that comfortable of a feeling, at first, especially if someone has breached your trust in the past. Always remember that fear and worry are the tricks of the evil one. And remember to take it slow.

- Remember also that independence works counter to intimacy and trust. If you want to be independent that's fine, but realize that to reach the many advantages of closeness in your relationships, you'll have to learn to be dependent on other people. Both independence and trust and important, just remember that you'll need both to thrive in our world. And don't ever forget God made man to be amongst others in fellowship and community.

"Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish." Barbara Smith

When we have these relationships, there is less anxiety. At times of difficulty it is comforting to know there is someone else who cares about you and your situation. They're there to help you, and that draws you closer together. This is a relationship that lasts and where we find deep contentedness  and unconditional love... the stuff that Jesus showed us. Why wouldn't we want to experience this deep, meaningful feeling?


chris said...

Carol, I can't thank you enough for your friendship and for letting me post this series here. I have learned so much from it, and God has truly worked wonders in my life through this!

Pam B. said...

In the garden, Eve had to choose whom she believed, Satan or God. Trust was the core of their open communication with God and not trusting God was the first sin. Adam's and Eve's sin spoiled their perfect relationship with each other and with God. I thank God that He has made the way for full restoration of our relationship with Him and with each other. Having a trustworthy relationship with one's spouse is a little heaven on earth.

chris said...

I"m very thankful too Pam, thank you for your thoughts!