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Monday, October 15, 2012

The 10 + 1 Building Blocks Of Relationships: Attention

Welcome again to my blogging friend, Chris Vonada as he shares with us the next building block of relationships. Please visit him often at his own site.

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Our world today is noisy... and busy. I've noticed this in my life... how there has been such an explosion in social media over the past few years, how it has impacted our world. In many ways, it's been really positive. I can keep in close contact with my family and close friends more so than ever before. It's pretty cool really... you know how some folks say our cyber friends are not really friends... I don't really buy into all of that though. Here's a good example of why: I meet new people at the Planet Fitness all the time. When I do, sometimes we'll friend up on Facebook. Every time this happens, the very next time I see that person we exchange the big smile... Every Time. It's like we have connected in a way that deepens our friendship. I like that.

Certainly there is a contrary opinion to all of that, in some respects, but our world today, in so many ways, is what we make of it.

I guess as I think of my world... and my priorities in my day to day life, I find relationships with other people, and with Jesus to be most important. I spend a lot of time with my grandson Nolan, so I'm going to our morning quality time as the example for Attention. Usually 3 days a week I get to help Nolan get his day going. This is our special time together... his mom and dad get moving pretty early, so I go over to their home and work from my MacBook Pro until about 8 a.m., then gently rustle Nolan out of bed. We spend about an hour together before I drop him off at his daycare.

Now 3-year olds are pretty sharp... this is one of my favorite ages for children, because they are super goofy (and, therefore, I can just be my goofy self too... hee hee...). One thing I quickly picked up on with Nolan is how he can tell if he has my attention... or if I'm distracted, and doing something else. This is amazing to me, that a 3-year old is in tune with how we focus our attention. So during this time I stop working and just chill with my little buddy.

I was reading an article at, titled "The Risk Of Becoming A Multi-tasker." You know, I used to be really good at this... multi-tasking. I'm not so good at it anymore, a change that I've attributed to aging. However, I wonder if it really has more to do with how I focus my attention?

Similarly, if I'm hanging out with the SC... I'm not really all that inclined to try to multi-task. Why? I savor the time we have together, and I want to absorb all of that experience. Same thing with little Nolan. Maybe that's just a fact of having the same love language value for Quality Time, I don't know... but it does seem to work... and I feel the same love back from these people who are close in my world today.

Unconditional love has the spirit of giving, one where the focus is really all about you and has very little to do with me...

Being mindful of our focus... and being grateful to God for what we do have... two keys to enjoying and sharing the love in our relationships... through attention.

What are some ways that you find helpful to focus your attention in your relationships?


From Carols Quill said...

This is one of the issues I struggle most with, Chris. It's hard some times to break away from whatever is consuming me at the moment. But people are more important. Thanks for this.

chris said...

Thank you Carol for having me here, I'm learning a lot from this series!!

Pam B. said...

This is one of the reasons that I feel blessed that I was able to stay home and raise my kids, because the pace of our life allowed for focus.

chris said...

You shared something very valuable with your children Pam... time!